don't bother calling me tonight David.

today was horrible.
it started out fine, went to the mall with Rita and Emily bought a bunch of stuff I don't really need.
then I left Rita's house, because she had to go to work and stuff
but I had really bad painful cramps ..so... I stoped at David's on my way because I couldn't drive any more soo I could chill for a little bit until they went away.
when I got there he was really nice to me because I felt sick.
but he wanted to go to the book store to get a book for english which was fine, I was feeling better so I wanted to go with him seeing as it is a saturday night... and I don't have to work which NEVER happens.
of course he didn't want me to go with him because he was going to David P.'s house afterwards.
...the only reason he ever hangs out with David is to smoke pot.

I tried compermising with him.. like how about you hang out with David (p) tomorrow because I have to work tomorrow so that way I don't have to sit at home by myself on a Saturday night
..that didn't work

so I lost my temper and started crying. I hate being ditched. I hate it. I hate it.
I hate being the one who's sitting at home while everyone is doing something.
I hate when my boy friend picks smoking pot over me.

I got in my car freaking balling my eyes out and left without saying good bye. He didn't even call me.

I got like a mile down the road and relized that I left my ten dollars in his kitchen, so I turned around ..when I got back which was a matter of like three minutes, he had already left.

I don't think my feelings have ever been hurt that bad in my life.

so now I'm sitting at my house with my family doing nothing.






I am so sick of this.
I love him so much, but it feels like he doesn't even care any more.
I fucking hate marajuana.